Chocolate cysts are funny things.
With a name that sweet
You should only have fond(ue) memories.
But like knives dipped in honey
They wrench your guts with treacheries.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
As the blood seeps through the walls each month
I give rent to my trespasser
In my ovaries, the one that feeds on blood.
The growing chocolate cyst, my harasser
What do you do with a wild elephant in your living room?
I even spoke to it once
Asking it to leave.
It pinned its tusks, knives and daggers until
I doubled up over the toilet bowl, to grieve.
They say some pains are sweet.
Chocolate should be the sweetest, no?
And so like a foetus within
I held it over my stomach letting it grow.
Vicious vampires, deliciously dark
The parasitoid lives in me.
We are friends now, that trust
That it will slowly but surely, kill me.
P.S In 2011, I was diagnosed with endometriosis where I was told there was a chocolate cyst in my ovary. I was quite amused by the sweet sounding name of something so painful. From the worst kind of pain to the shocker news that I may never become a mother, it was a tough time.
For people who say that motherhood is not an achievement, I just have to say that for me, it was. From not wanting a child then to wanting it badly and then to have successfully delivered a normal, happy child two years later, was nothing less than a success story.
I have been cured ever since of the cyst and of baby longings but have not been comfortable talking about it publicly until now. Now that it’s out there, I have made my peace with it.
Do read more about endometriosis so you can help women around you.