To Shivaan – A letter…

Dearest Shivaan

There’s something about the monsoons that makes me write. Or maybe it’s your eyes that tell so many stories.

Sometimes I feel you are the one I had been waiting for. You are the explosion that shook my world. Literally pulled the ground beneath my feet and left me hanging in mid-air until I realized the only option I had was to fly. You are the Big Bang of my galaxy. When I gave birth to you, little did I realize that I gave birth to myself.

I feel like right at this moment I am the best version of who I am. Over the years I have shed so many skins, so many layers and each shedding season carves a newer person out of me. Someone I didn’t know existed beneath all that grime. It’s like someone is polishing the coarse piece of coal in me. And there will come a time when the diamond will sparkle, shining like the brightest star in that sky.

And you know what? I feel those stars looking down at us feel the same way about us. They don’t know their own sparkling brilliance because they are busy looking at us. And we stand here next to each other radiating the same light individually and together, oblivious of our light, looking up at them.

I thought of this two days ago when I held you in my arms and we both looked at the rain falling outside. This rain was silent. No thunderstorm. No lightning. It just poured its heart out. And it made me think. Why does rain fall? Not because it wants to drench you. It falls because it knows no other way to be. It falls when it can’t contain itself any longer. It falls when it’s ready.

Isn’t the thought liberating?

It’s when you immerse yourself in who you are and what you do completely that you are ready to emerge out of your cocoon. You have to saturate yourself to a point of no return. To drench every particle of your soul with your dream, so much, that you pour. Flooding everything that comes your way.

Without a sound…without lightning…without thunder. You pour silently. And yet millions of eyes look up at you to acknowledge the grandeur of the spectacle that you are. Real life doesn’t come with a drumroll. Believe me, nobody heard the Big Bang and yet it was the loudest sound ever made.

Love yourself Shivaan. This is the single most important lesson life can give you. You have taught me this and maybe someone would come in your life to teach you this. But if you are reading this, I just want to say thank you. You have got me started on a journey I didn’t know I had it in me to undertake.

While you will always be my child, I will always be the medium through which you connect to this world. Hence, the letter.

Love always

Ma

 

P.S   Papa says you love me like crazy and that you have eyes only for me. I say Papa is jealous 😉

 

 

 

 

 

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